Stepping Out of Line


Trees lined up in a row. January 06, 2015 on a very chilly day with only the snow left over from Xmas Day on the ground. Photo taken with: an old Samsung point & shoot camera.

I’ve got a terrible head cold. Early this morning my dear, who had just finished his over night shift woke me with medicine. He went to the store apparently after work and bought me a few things. He gently woke me with a hug, handed me two night cold medicine pills and a glass of water. Followed with a vitamin C cough drop. I fell asleep with the cough drop in my mouth, but had no issues surprisingly. He had no idea how quickly I would return to sleep.

It’s been a long couple of weeks, but good weeks. Sure, they’ve had their ups and downs and I’m pretty sure the crazy hours and stress of change is what weakened my immune system. Earlier in the season, I got my first flu shot and have been fine until now. Yesterday, I called out from the job I gave my two weeks notice to and to the job I was to train at today.  No sense in making myself worse throughout the week and perhaps spreading it around further (I know I got it from my co-workers, who work both places of my employment.)

The day I took this photograph, was the week I was working 7 days in a row full of long shifts and such. The day before was an exceptionally beautiful day and was the coldest (to me) than it had been all winter. I decided to ask my sweet to borrow his camera and try to take photos with something other than my cellphone (which is on its deathbed.) The idea, was to focus on something outside myself, where inside my head were only thoughts of dread about the technical number of days I was working. I keep saying to myself, that there must be some kind of mental block holding me back from being able to work every day (if I chose.) IDK tho, maybe I am just some kind of freak who really does need two days off of rest? There are so many people in this state who work two jobs, extended hours in hostile conditions and sometimes even go to school – I really don’t see how it happens.

Inside me there is a desire to be able to control my body, to push it’s limits and achieve whatever I wish! But, the body that I inhabit absolutely adores it routines. Sadly, I’m afraid my body is winning this war over spirit because I am down for the count, on the sofa with puffy snotty red nose wrapped in a blanket.


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