porky waking

Waking from a nap, he cleaned his face with his paw. September 22, 2015.

“Grief is itself a medicine.  ~William Cowper, Charity”

Sometimes, I just need to cry. I think I probably cry more than anyone I know personally. I’m absolutely sure that my neighbors hate it. I’ve learned over the years, that even with discussing my feelings and thoughts or journaling that I still have a build up of emotion. Crying is the final release, it’s cathartic.

Yesterday, I was a little scared. I refused any narcotic for my dilation and curettage with hysteroscopy because twilight sleep scares me. I’ve been sedated before, and I didn’t like how I felt when I woke. Heck, I didn’t even like the way I felt counting down while it was being administered. Anesthesia is necessary sometimes, I just don’t care for it. The anesthesiologist gave me medicine equivalent to anti-anxiety drug. I don’t remember the name. It made me drowsy but not asleep, or sick. She also gave me a nausea medicine.

It was a little painful at times, and today I still ache but I’m OK. There has been a lot of stress and worry build up in our household with this day surgery hanging over our heads. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it turned out to be. I know I had fibroids (they were hopefully removed yesterday) and I know I have other unique issues but, we must wait to hear about the lab results and see the photos in October. I have a good support person who loves me, thankfully.

I can’t take baths or have intercouse for two weeks, and that also makes me want to cry. Oh, such the drama Queen! Here’s to healthy uteruses and ball sacs my friends!


5 thoughts on “Crying

  1. suzicate says:

    Crying IS cathartic! Nothing empties and gives me a fresh start like a good cry.
    Anesthesia whacks me out. You were probably smart to do without even though you had to endure some pain.
    And your sense of humor is still intact, so that alone is a big plus.
    Hope your healing is smooth and quick.

    Liked by 1 person

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