Catatonic

porki laying down

He does this. Sometimes, he looks dead. He’s not. He just gets moody sometimes.

This morning has been ultra rough. I was cleaning up after cooking breakfast and I just lost it. My apartment is a dump, and no matter how much I clean the old linoleum kitchen floor it looks dirty. In fact, dirt actually comes out of the seams of the flooring and I just had a meltdown.

Actually, calling it a meltdown is putting it mildly. I became seriously afraid for myself. I called out and put myself to bed.

Now that my mind is a little clearer, I remembered something that came to mind before. Most of my “crazy” was fixed without medication but, by simply being put on birth control – the Mirena IUD.

My Mirena implant was removed in August of this year, and my emotional/mental state has seriously degenerated.

I use the Period Tracker app on my phone, and with my notes it has predicted that I will have 3 menstrual cycles this month. The past couple of months, I’ve had two a month. Bleeding, I am bleeding constantly and with the bleeding there are serious cramps. Cramps are so terrible, I have diarrhea throughout the day like non-stop.

Friday, I did call my OBGYN’s office and I am still waiting to hear when I can get the implant that goes into my arm placed. She told me in the first phone call, there might not be any availability until next year.

I don’t know if I can make it that long.

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2 thoughts on “Catatonic

  1. suzicate says:

    Sometimes we need to just have a melt down and let it out. So glad you’re seeing a correlation. Perhaps if they know this is the problem they can do something sooner to help you. Sorry you’re going through so much. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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