It’s Not Working

Close up of a large white orchid J pointed out to me at the market. It has a pink and yellow center.

This me helping myself thing, it’s not working anymore and I am not sure what steps to take. If I go back to care through the hospital they will put me on a whole bunch of medications again, which don’t really help. Several trips a month will be required to see doctors, have my blood tested for medication levels and the only real action any of them will take will be to document everything I say or do. I’ll be available less for work, and with my position that means I will most likely lose my job. Without my job, we will be seriously hurt financially. What am I supposed to do?

I shouldn’t write any of this but, I need to let it go.