Progress

yarrow flowers

Yarrow. August, 2015.

“One may go a long way after one is tired.” ~French Proverb

I am tired. I am achy. My joints hurt, my hands are swollen and I wasn’t ready to be awake yet but, there is always some part of me that won’t relax. On guard. Ready to feel bad, for things left undone. Today, I will fight that niggling thought. Today, I will rest.  I deserve it. It’s amazing that I was able to will myself to work that many days in a row (12.) To get up, dress up, and show up at least for 8 hours most days.  I know many people can and do, but for me.. it’s a different story. I’ve come a long way. For years, I almost couldn’t do anything.  I couldn’t even think about stress, let alone endure any of it. Now, I tuck it under my belt and I use it like a tool.  I am progressing. But, as I said.. I am also tired. Be good to yourselves my friends, and take it easy. I know I will 😉

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What do you see?

fireweed seed

Fireweed gone to seed. August 20th, 2015.

“Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.”
~Author Unknown

Full Moon Blessings

photo

Another photo edited to make use of a slightly blurry & un-interesting photo of miscellaneous things in my cabinet.

“May you have warm words on a cool evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.”  ~Irish Toast

This morning when leaving for work at just before 5 am, we saw the big beautiful golden full moon. It’s not the first time ever, mind you. It’s just been a season since we’ve been able to truly view the moon with a velvet black sky behind it, surrounded by smoky looking clouds and sparkling stars. Summer in Alaska is the season of the sun. It is “the land of the midnight sun.” We have reached the beginning of fall, and now sister moon returns to us (even tho she never really left.)

There is a peacefulness that I find at night, in the dark. Winter’s coldness feels right to me. If my living circumstances were different, I suppose I might feel differently. But right here, right now after working day 8 of 12.. it feels absolutely perfect. There is a chill in my bedroom. We are cuddled up, and J is already napping. The kitties, are napping and being surrounded by pillows & covers in the middle of the afternoon is beyond comforting. I feel peaceful, and at rest.

Full moon blessings to you, my friends . . * . * )0( * . *. .

Napville

sunflower

Blurry photo of a sunflower, edited. End of August, 2015.

There is no point at which you can say,
“Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap.”
~Carrie Fisher

I’ve been filling in at work for my boss. It’s made for great experience, and little sleep. Today, should be my “Friday.” It’s not. Today, is day 5 of 12. I’m not sleeping a whole lot because of work, and the fact that I have a lot of other life things to do!

Today, my regional manager & a rep. from the parent company came for an inspection. It went off without a hitch. Actually, anything and everything that could go wrong – did. That’s OK. I’m OK. In fact, I feel pretty decent.

I have to disagree with that Carrie Fisher quote, and decide I was successful enough to take a nap! I’m going to take a good long one too!

Always Moving

Taken by accident. Me, on the GO as usual. End of August, 2015.

Taken by accident. Me, on the GO as usual. End of August, 2015.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my eyes and all is born again.
~Sylvia Plath, “Mad Girl’s Love Song”

I unknowingly snapped this photo carrying my new cellphone in my hand. Not having a case for it, I was afraid it would slip out my flimsy back pocket. Instead of tucking it safely in my purse, I opted for clutching it with a death grip and here is the result!

What you see up close, it’s a shiny black button on my very worn and favorite black sweater. Black leggings & my pink & black plaid Airwalks (given to me by my cousin.) Despite what some people think, I’m not a very fancy girl. Life just doesn’t allow that at the moment.

I remember the days when I tried so damn hard to look good. All of the dieting, being angry, uncomfortable, the sweating, restrictive garments, expensive makeup, hairspray, glued eyelashes that wouldn’t stay on, tanning, getting tracks of hair sewed or glued to my head. The money, the heartache. I don’t miss it one bit.

Work is all consuming right now, work & well… naps. I’ve got 2 cats & J that require lots of attention and sleep. Reading too. Almost finished reading “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel. I’m really enjoying it and if I didn’t fall asleep as soon as I got comfortable, I just might finish the darn book! I’d rather read than do just about anything anymore. Especially if it involves snuggling with the cats or the big hairless cat that occupies my life.

I hope this finds you well friends, what are you reading?

Grumble

large round purple flower

Allium? Large round purple flower as part of floral centerpiece, for sale in the floral department of the market.

“I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.”  ~Joe Walsh

Today started my epic work “week.” I am filling in for my manager whilst on vacation.  My “week” goes something like this a full 8 hours starting today (Saturday) and runs every day through next Sunday. I was semi-prepared for this but then, while at work I remembered that I am always scheduled Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. That my friends, makes for a 12 day (if I’m counting right) work week. *sigh*

All I wanted to do today was leave early. I said it out loud, and the Universe stepped in to make sure I didn’t do exactly that. In fact, it was minor trouble after minor trouble blocking my way to freedom. Haha. I just made myself laugh. I’ve been playing Plants vs. Zombies 2 too much because I just imagined using power ups to get me through my day and out of my workplace.

I’m going to be rich $$$, and dead on my feet.

I am. I am. I am.

white flower

Can anyone ID this flower? It looks to me like a type of lily?

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.”
~Sylvia Plath

Joy

fireweed

Taken today. August 20th, 2015. Fireweed, up close.

“By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower. ~Rabindranath Tagore”

I am so incredibly happy to present the first photo shared on this blog, taken with my new cellphone camera. As most of you who read this little diary know, I’ve been going through off and on again cellphone trouble all year. At the beginning of this week, my cellphone took it’s last breath (so to speak.) During phone calls it would garble, and cut out allowing me to hear only every other word or so. It would turn off and stopped taking photos a month or so ago, it feels like it’s been ages. I couldn’t take it anymore, and my work/life does require me to have a phone so we went to Walmart. For $59.00 totally not in the budget, I bought a prepaid AT&T Maven. These types of purchases are always a risk (remember how much I hated my last prepaid cellphone purchase? I donated that phone to a co-worker’s daughter.) I am glad to say I am thoroughly happy with this android. I’ve been using it all week but, I was afraid to take pictures lest I absolutely despise the quality. This morning, I decided it was time to test it out! I am very pleased 🙂

It’s a gorgeous day outside, the sun is shining an intense golden light. We did go out for awhile in it, perhaps too long as now I am in bed with my girl kitty Macy staring out the window. I feel kind of sick and burnt. My health hasn’t been the greatest, although it’s not the worst. I’ve had a burning heat from under my breasts and down through my belly to my hips today. Even my hands, and eyeballs feel hot. Perhaps an infection? Or, hormonal. It’s most likely the latter as I am having more trouble “downstairs.” My back aches with a constant soreness as I’m having a perpetual menstrual cycle. My OBGYN doctor removed my Mirena implant last week, and to everyone’s surprise (especially hers and mine) it HURT!!! It felt like a burning slice happened inside my body, in some untold location. My heart jumped up into my chest and my doctor jumped back saying “It’s out! It’s out! It’s OK.” J was afraid, the nurse seemed completely startled and my doctor looked worried. Crackers and juice were issued to me, and a suggestion of rest. There is a day surgery coming up, a D&C complete with a camera being inserted internally to help the doctor get a better look at things.

More than you wanted to know? Hey, it’s been like forever since we’ve been able to chat 😉