Joy

fireweed

Taken today. August 20th, 2015. Fireweed, up close.

“By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower. ~Rabindranath Tagore”

I am so incredibly happy to present the first photo shared on this blog, taken with my new cellphone camera. As most of you who read this little diary know, I’ve been going through off and on again cellphone trouble all year. At the beginning of this week, my cellphone took it’s last breath (so to speak.) During phone calls it would garble, and cut out allowing me to hear only every other word or so. It would turn off and stopped taking photos a month or so ago, it feels like it’s been ages. I couldn’t take it anymore, and my work/life does require me to have a phone so we went to Walmart. For $59.00 totally not in the budget, I bought a prepaid AT&T Maven. These types of purchases are always a risk (remember how much I hated my last prepaid cellphone purchase? I donated that phone to a co-worker’s daughter.) I am glad to say I am thoroughly happy with this android. I’ve been using it all week but, I was afraid to take pictures lest I absolutely despise the quality. This morning, I decided it was time to test it out! I am very pleased 🙂

It’s a gorgeous day outside, the sun is shining an intense golden light. We did go out for awhile in it, perhaps too long as now I am in bed with my girl kitty Macy staring out the window. I feel kind of sick and burnt. My health hasn’t been the greatest, although it’s not the worst. I’ve had a burning heat from under my breasts and down through my belly to my hips today. Even my hands, and eyeballs feel hot. Perhaps an infection? Or, hormonal. It’s most likely the latter as I am having more trouble “downstairs.” My back aches with a constant soreness as I’m having a perpetual menstrual cycle. My OBGYN doctor removed my Mirena implant last week, and to everyone’s surprise (especially hers and mine) it HURT!!! It felt like a burning slice happened inside my body, in some untold location. My heart jumped up into my chest and my doctor jumped back saying “It’s out! It’s out! It’s OK.” J was afraid, the nurse seemed completely startled and my doctor looked worried. Crackers and juice were issued to me, and a suggestion of rest. There is a day surgery coming up, a D&C complete with a camera being inserted internally to help the doctor get a better look at things.

More than you wanted to know? Hey, it’s been like forever since we’ve been able to chat 😉

Summer is Fading

Common tansy weed. I did not take the photo, it is my hand holding the group of little yellow buds.

Common tansy weed. I did not take the photo, it is my hand holding the group of little yellow buds.

Summer has a way of taking me away from the Internet and social media sites & connections. I need more of that in my life. So often, I find I don’t have the real-time that I want for the things that interest me most leaving me only clicking the like button on the activities of others. Unfulfilling interactions like that, and a loss of connection to self.

The past couple of weeks has been a great time for rest, as I have been very ill with an infection in my respiratory system. My emotional health, also hit an all-time low. So, I have taken a step back from many aspects/activities in my daily life. Sleep and rest, have been paramount.

Work is a priority. There are many demands to be met. I have been cleared for a driver’s license so, I need to get my eyeglasses. It’s been over a year since my last eye test, and prescription was written. I wish I had taken the time & money to have that prescription filled. Once I have met those requirements, I will take my next big step to promotion. I’m doing the best I can and trying to focus on these goals.

Reading, baking and cooking in general are also a big part of my life right now. Bubble baths, and quiet time are also always on the agenda. Peace be with you friends.

 

Struggle

me

Taken July 15, 2015 at 4:44 pm. Webcam used while laying on sofa. Not the best angle. Edited with PicMonkey.

“When a man is at his wits’ end it is not a cowardly thing to pray,
it is the only way he can get in touch with reality.”
~Oswald Chambers

Things have been a bit rough for me lately. I’m not doing any of the things that I really love. I’m starting to think it’s because I don’t really love anything. Reflecting back to a conversation with a counselor at my physician’s office, I remember describing the absolute shallowness of how I felt. Not, shallow like vanity but, perhaps hollow. She told me to “fake it, till you make it.” It’s what I’ve always done, but when does the faking stop?

My personal relationships have been tested a lot this year. I’m not a buddy buddy person. Outside of my sweet, I hang out with no one. I don’t make phone calls (except to my daughter, grandchildren, and occasionally my grandfather.) I have attempted to make friends and only found people who lie, backstab and gossip. It’s only reaffirming my hermit like self to remain isolated but, it gets lonely inside my head. Not having a cellphone that can take photos is limiting some of the only self-expression I have. No photos, no moments to save, nothing to share, no blog posts, no words leaving my cluttered mind. It’s getting rough.

Work is monotonous. I see the same people everyday, they buy the same things everyday. I even see them at the exact same time of the day. Every day is the same. I wear a uniform everyday, and nothing changes. And the same thoughts run through my mind.

I’m sad today.

The View

marsh

The first day of March, 2015. Potters Marsh Boardwalk.

“The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.” ~Author Unknown

Remember my cellphone/camera issues from previous days? Yeah, we are back there again. Cleaning out the gallery of a zillion photos from my old Samsung G2 some how broke the camera. I tried using a micro-sd card to save photos to but none the less, I was only left with a broken picture icon.

We just replaced my sweets Moto X that I got him for Christmas, with an Iphone 4s because the screen shattered at work. Sometimes working heavy machinery can cause that to happen. My needs for a new cellphone are on the back burner, so recycled photos for posts again. It doesn’t help that I really am holding out for some great deal like on a Samsung Note 3 or 4…..

Different Directions

trees and branches

Branches, spread out in different directions. April 19, 2015.

My emotions have been pulled in so many directions, very much like fresh pulled taffy. It’s hard to explain my worries, thoughts, ideas, dreams sometimes even to my own best friend. When my mind is left unchecked, things can get out of hand ~ so you might see some upcoming posts about that.

The reason I dropped off the map was due to shipping my laptop off for repair. HP sent me a box, and shipping materials and a prepaid shipping label. The thing that took the longest was getting me to actually pack it, and drop it off at Fed Ex. It has now returned, keyboard fully functioning! I could have posted some kind of blogs from my phone but, as I mentioned I’ve been kind of a working-in-progress mess lately! Oops!

Thank you for continually checking my little blog, and as always your support!

Keyboard

Last week, I noticed the backspace key on my HP Google Chromebook was sticking. In the morning my entire keyboard had stopped working.

Posting had been difficult, using my on screen keyboard. This post is from my cellphone. With my upcoming trip to California and working excessively, there has been no time to take it to the repair shop. That’s why my blogging has slowed down.

Thank you for your continued visits and comments!

Quick Question #2

Quick Poll