The Autumnal

decaying plant

After the rain. First day of Autumn, 2015.

“No spring nor summer’s beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one Autumnal face….”
~John Donne, “Elegy IX: The Autumnal”

Rhythm of Life

yellow flower

The end is near, for these yellow beauties. September 11, 2015.

“Summer ends, and Autumn comes, and he who would have it otherwise would have high tide always and a full moon every night; and thus he would never know the rhythms that are at the heart of life.” – Hal Borland

The Rain is Gone

white flower in grass

A flower fallen in the grass. The city’s hanging baskets were removed from their posts along the street. September, 2015. Anchorage, Alaska

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.”
-Johnny Nash

I got my vision tested yesterday. I also got, my first pair of eyeglasses! My vision was tested in 2012, but I never filled my prescription. I always felt like, I could see you know? Words blurred at a distance, I couldn’t read menu boards or the cable guide but I managed.

I don’t know why I waited so long! Seeing is believing folks! The only thing that pushed me into getting glasses is that I need them to pass the eye test at the DMV, when I got in to get my drivers license.

I am nearsighted, and my vision in my right eye is worse than my left. My eyes were dilated and I’ve got to healthy peepers! My first pair of glasses are pretty basic. Family members recommended Eye Mart, and I got a great deal on a pair of plastic lenses in some cute black & pearl white frames.

Putting my glasses on and taking them off makes me dizzy at first. In fact, I’ve felt overwhelmed at times. Taking everything in, I’m seeing things I didn’t know I was missing. I haven’t stopped talking about it for the past two days. I see the world with brand new eyes. My whole outlook of the world has improved!

Today, we went to the woods for a hike and it was breathtaking. Seeing fall colors and the seasonal changes so vividly, was amazing. I can see all the leaves on the trees. Each leaf, each needle is defined. Words, I can read them all! Even the menu boards, I can read a sign across a large room.

I just want to finish with a line from a commercial that never failed to make me laugh, “my eyes – my special eyes!”

What do you see?

fireweed seed

Fireweed gone to seed. August 20th, 2015.

“Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.”
~Author Unknown

Just Dance

yellow flowers

Yellow marigolds, sitting in the sun. 24th of August, 2015.

“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”  ~Japanese Proverb

Always Moving

Taken by accident. Me, on the GO as usual. End of August, 2015.

Taken by accident. Me, on the GO as usual. End of August, 2015.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my eyes and all is born again.
~Sylvia Plath, “Mad Girl’s Love Song”

I unknowingly snapped this photo carrying my new cellphone in my hand. Not having a case for it, I was afraid it would slip out my flimsy back pocket. Instead of tucking it safely in my purse, I opted for clutching it with a death grip and here is the result!

What you see up close, it’s a shiny black button on my very worn and favorite black sweater. Black leggings & my pink & black plaid Airwalks (given to me by my cousin.) Despite what some people think, I’m not a very fancy girl. Life just doesn’t allow that at the moment.

I remember the days when I tried so damn hard to look good. All of the dieting, being angry, uncomfortable, the sweating, restrictive garments, expensive makeup, hairspray, glued eyelashes that wouldn’t stay on, tanning, getting tracks of hair sewed or glued to my head. The money, the heartache. I don’t miss it one bit.

Work is all consuming right now, work & well… naps. I’ve got 2 cats & J that require lots of attention and sleep. Reading too. Almost finished reading “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel. I’m really enjoying it and if I didn’t fall asleep as soon as I got comfortable, I just might finish the darn book! I’d rather read than do just about anything anymore. Especially if it involves snuggling with the cats or the big hairless cat that occupies my life.

I hope this finds you well friends, what are you reading?

Joy

fireweed

Taken today. August 20th, 2015. Fireweed, up close.

“By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower. ~Rabindranath Tagore”

I am so incredibly happy to present the first photo shared on this blog, taken with my new cellphone camera. As most of you who read this little diary know, I’ve been going through off and on again cellphone trouble all year. At the beginning of this week, my cellphone took it’s last breath (so to speak.) During phone calls it would garble, and cut out allowing me to hear only every other word or so. It would turn off and stopped taking photos a month or so ago, it feels like it’s been ages. I couldn’t take it anymore, and my work/life does require me to have a phone so we went to Walmart. For $59.00 totally not in the budget, I bought a prepaid AT&T Maven. These types of purchases are always a risk (remember how much I hated my last prepaid cellphone purchase? I donated that phone to a co-worker’s daughter.) I am glad to say I am thoroughly happy with this android. I’ve been using it all week but, I was afraid to take pictures lest I absolutely despise the quality. This morning, I decided it was time to test it out! I am very pleased 🙂

It’s a gorgeous day outside, the sun is shining an intense golden light. We did go out for awhile in it, perhaps too long as now I am in bed with my girl kitty Macy staring out the window. I feel kind of sick and burnt. My health hasn’t been the greatest, although it’s not the worst. I’ve had a burning heat from under my breasts and down through my belly to my hips today. Even my hands, and eyeballs feel hot. Perhaps an infection? Or, hormonal. It’s most likely the latter as I am having more trouble “downstairs.” My back aches with a constant soreness as I’m having a perpetual menstrual cycle. My OBGYN doctor removed my Mirena implant last week, and to everyone’s surprise (especially hers and mine) it HURT!!! It felt like a burning slice happened inside my body, in some untold location. My heart jumped up into my chest and my doctor jumped back saying “It’s out! It’s out! It’s OK.” J was afraid, the nurse seemed completely startled and my doctor looked worried. Crackers and juice were issued to me, and a suggestion of rest. There is a day surgery coming up, a D&C complete with a camera being inserted internally to help the doctor get a better look at things.

More than you wanted to know? Hey, it’s been like forever since we’ve been able to chat 😉

Measure

First full fledged mushroom noticed in this season. Spotted & photographed by J. August 7, 2015.

First full fledged mushroom noticed in this season. Spotted & photographed by J. August 7, 2015.

July was full of death.
I’ve had a lot on my mind.
I want to post.
I need to stew over what I say.
It is a time to balance.
For sure.

Temple

buddhas

Buddhas outside Buddha Meditation Center, Anchorage Alaska. August, 2015.

“Skin is a covering for our immortality.” ~Terri Guillemets

Might have been best to place a Buddha quote under that photo, but I really enjoyed the idea Terri Guillemets portrayed. Not everything need be so matchy matchy. Right?

Just as I said, we went back for the evening service of chanting and meditation. I had a terrible headache all day, and I didn’t really feel like attending no matter how intriguing the idea. However, I knew it was important to J and no matter our current disposition – we have been through a lot together and always ended up supporting each other, at one time or another. It was hot inside. Buddhist monks can’t pay for a.c. The ceiling fans that looked like giant flowers didn’t spin either.

The Abbott greeted us once again, and showed us how to bow to Buddha three times prayer to chanting. We mimicked. Another non-Thai type entered, and he was also shown. The man appeared to be a European backpacker.

We bowed, we chanted – well.. I made no attempt. I am no good for soft rolling languages. It was difficult to follow. J, kept me on the right page. The chanting was very harmonious. There were intermittent sneezes and coughs, but altogether very peaceful. Chanting was followed by meditation – 40 minutes. A timer was set, and the Abbott meditated while walking behind the shrine. I sat and peeked through my eyelids, as we were instructed to look at Buddha through closed eyes. Proper breathing was also taught prior.

Sitting, sitting, breathing, and breathing. Quiet peeking, sitting and more sitting I thought “I don’t know if I can do this.” Despite my impatience, I did not get up or distract J. He wanted this, he needed this. The European backpacker fell asleep and his feet faced Buddha. Ours, safely tucked under our bodies and pointed away. The timer went off. Coughs, stretching and then a quick message in Thai to our ambassador of sorts (the kung fu looking man from prior post.) He quickly nodded and scooted over and told the visitor that although the Abbott did not say his form of meditation was wrong, it was wrong to point his feet at Buddha but also, his choice as it’s his karma. I really shortened that, the man explaining was very patient and gentle in his words.

I couldn’t leave quick enough. I felt sort of out of place, and I don’t know why. I really enjoy other cultures and customs. The temple is beautiful, the carpet was comfy. I can’t help but feel it had to do with being a woman, and temple/church/church/temple = organized religion which isn’t something I am super comfy with. It was a beautiful learning experience, nonetheless.