Uh Oh

wedding items

Items from weddings for sale at a local antique store. Not anything of mine. Taken in September, 2015.

“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.”
~Tommy Manville

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Muddle

sculpture

I don’t know who made this, but it’s so ugly it’s cute. Handmade, and for sale at our local antique shop. September, 2015.

I’m one of few dragons ever to have a song. That is because,
instead of destroying things, I try to muddle through.
Puff the Magic Dragon

I’m caught up again. In my work, life and my thoughts. I will try to muddle through.

Every Day

red flowers

Taken at my favorite local flower shop, mid-September in 2015.

“If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.”
~Cavett Robert

Just Breathe

tulips

My #selfcareseptember two-tone tulips starting to blossom. A photo from my Instagram.

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is
the rest we take between two deep breaths.”
~Etty Hillesum

Heart Sound

alaskan dolls

Handmade native dolls, at a local antique shop. End of September, 2015.

“Call your mother. Tell her you love her. Remember, you’re the only person who knows what her heart sounds like from the inside.”
~Rachel Wolchin

Goals & Deadlines

collectible

A harlequin jester, from the 70’s. Stamped with Italy under the base. I had to have him.

“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”
~Diana Scharf Hunt

I’ve got big goals or dreams for our future. Perhaps it’s my age, perhaps it’s frustration with myself but I’m ready to make some big moves in my life. Now, to let them happen!

My focus: stop blocking my own progress. 

Perhaps, I am a fool only setting myself up for failure OR I have been a fool all of this time thinking that I could not take these steps before. I’m not sure but, I know I am ready to find out!

Monkey Bread

sock monkey

Sock monkey for sale, at a local antique store. September, 2015.

There are people in this world that know you are soft and sweet on the inside, and want to twist and tear you apart – like monkey bread. Try not, to let it happen (note to self.)

Crying

porky waking

Waking from a nap, he cleaned his face with his paw. September 22, 2015.

“Grief is itself a medicine.  ~William Cowper, Charity”

Sometimes, I just need to cry. I think I probably cry more than anyone I know personally. I’m absolutely sure that my neighbors hate it. I’ve learned over the years, that even with discussing my feelings and thoughts or journaling that I still have a build up of emotion. Crying is the final release, it’s cathartic.

Yesterday, I was a little scared. I refused any narcotic for my dilation and curettage with hysteroscopy because twilight sleep scares me. I’ve been sedated before, and I didn’t like how I felt when I woke. Heck, I didn’t even like the way I felt counting down while it was being administered. Anesthesia is necessary sometimes, I just don’t care for it. The anesthesiologist gave me medicine equivalent to anti-anxiety drug. I don’t remember the name. It made me drowsy but not asleep, or sick. She also gave me a nausea medicine.

It was a little painful at times, and today I still ache but I’m OK. There has been a lot of stress and worry build up in our household with this day surgery hanging over our heads. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it turned out to be. I know I had fibroids (they were hopefully removed yesterday) and I know I have other unique issues but, we must wait to hear about the lab results and see the photos in October. I have a good support person who loves me, thankfully.

I can’t take baths or have intercouse for two weeks, and that also makes me want to cry. Oh, such the drama Queen! Here’s to healthy uteruses and ball sacs my friends!

We Are All Rich

large sunflower

Large sunflower in the local market. Mid-September, 2015.

“Empty pockets never held anyone back.
Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”
~Norman Vincent Peale

Ordinary Beautiful

red gerber

Red Gerber Daisy. In the local market. September 19th, 2015.

“Things don’t have to be extraordinary to be beautiful,
even the ordinary can be beautiful.”
– Matthew, Wicker Park