Down in the Dumps

paper recycling

The paper recycling plant. November of 2015.

This photograph is not of the dump, or even taken by me. J took it, and honestly I don’t know if I can rightfully use it but.. when I look at the contrast in the beautiful sunrise sky and a mound of paper waiting to be recycled, something stirs inside me.

The holidays, are upon us aren’t they? So how come, I am not in the spirit? I said a bunch of crazy shit in a post only a few of you liked and I realize it didn’t make any sense. So, what’s up? What’s going on? Why now?

I’m getting married. But, you are already married… I am sure you are thinking but, no not legally. We made promises etc and been together forever but now, we are making it legit. Everything has been falling apart since. I’m afraid and, I don’t have anything to wear.

With the loss of J’s father this summer and all this crazy important sh*t going on, it’s become crystal clear how many people I can call on in my life. It’s disheartening to say the least and, it’s nothing like what my eight year old mind came up with.

I realize this post is supposed to explain things and it won’t. Write off your expectations. I was eight, living in a kitchenette with my two sisters and my mother and her boyfriend. One of us had to sleep on a lawn chair. The summers were hot, and I drew a lot of “I ❤ Jesus” pictures.

And, that’s all I can think about since July. I’m a scary emotional mess.

Daily Duty

blue sky

Blue sky over Lake Hood. On October 29th, 2015.

“Is the blue sky happy?
It is doing its daily duty,
Of course it is happy.”
~Terri Guillemets

Growing Pains

tall trees

Tall trees around Delong Lake, Alaska. 04/17/15

I’m going through a rough patch, the past couple of days.  It happens every so often, and I can’t always pinpoint why. It will all work out, I’m just going through some “growing pains.”

Palm Trees

Palm trees

Palm trees that stood way above the houses and cars below. Sacramento, California. Beginning of April, 2015.

One of my biggest fascinations on my trip to California was, the trees. I had forgotten how many different types of trees that can grow in that state. Pretty sure my daughter was starting to think I was a little special with all my pointing at each tree I encountered. I couldn’t help it, the variety just boggled my mind, it was great.

I cropped the photo above, because people outside their homes with children and such are at the bottom. Really don’t like invading people’s privacy, so edited photo is what you get.

It was funny though. My whole visit, even as I was in a much larger city than I am used too – I felt like I was in the “country” the whole time. No mountains, no ocean, no creeks and woods.. it was all just flat land. Not much to look at in the sky, it was kind of depressing. Thank goodness for the trees!

Human

bush & sky

Looking up the side of the cliff, Point Woronzof beach. Mid-April, 2015.

We each need to make peace with our own memories. We have all done things that make us flinch. ~Surya Das

Otherwise

beach

Fire Island in the not so far distance, on the left. Mid-April, 2015. Very strong but warm winds off the water.

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe

It’s a Wonderful Thing

leaves

April 6, 2015. Sacramento, California. My birthday, out for a walk. No one ever looks up.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. ~William Arthur Ward

A Walk in the Woods

trees

Bare branches, 3-19-15

Let’s take our hearts for a walk in the woods and listen to the magic whispers of old trees. ~Author Unknown