Wedding Day

the mermaid

This photo was taken in the “shrine” area next to the large golden Buddha at The Mermaid Emporium. Anchorage, Alaska. Taken in October, of 2015.

“I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.”
~Author Unknown

It’s today friends! Wish us luck!? 🙂 Blessings to all! ❤

Advertisements

Fresh

roses

Cream colored roses and other greenery. In a bouquet, at the local market. Taken in November, 2015.

“Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it.”
~L.M. Montgomery

Catatonic

porki laying down

He does this. Sometimes, he looks dead. He’s not. He just gets moody sometimes.

This morning has been ultra rough. I was cleaning up after cooking breakfast and I just lost it. My apartment is a dump, and no matter how much I clean the old linoleum kitchen floor it looks dirty. In fact, dirt actually comes out of the seams of the flooring and I just had a meltdown.

Actually, calling it a meltdown is putting it mildly. I became seriously afraid for myself. I called out and put myself to bed.

Now that my mind is a little clearer, I remembered something that came to mind before. Most of my “crazy” was fixed without medication but, by simply being put on birth control – the Mirena IUD.

My Mirena implant was removed in August of this year, and my emotional/mental state has seriously degenerated.

I use the Period Tracker app on my phone, and with my notes it has predicted that I will have 3 menstrual cycles this month. The past couple of months, I’ve had two a month. Bleeding, I am bleeding constantly and with the bleeding there are serious cramps. Cramps are so terrible, I have diarrhea throughout the day like non-stop.

Friday, I did call my OBGYN’s office and I am still waiting to hear when I can get the implant that goes into my arm placed. She told me in the first phone call, there might not be any availability until next year.

I don’t know if I can make it that long.

It’s Not Working

white orchid

Close up of a large white orchid J pointed out to me at the market. It has a pink and yellow center.

This me helping myself thing, it’s not working anymore and I am not sure what steps to take. If I go back to care through the hospital they will put me on a whole bunch of medications again, which don’t really help. Several trips a month will be required to see doctors, have my blood tested for medication levels and the only real action any of them will take will be to document everything I say or do. I’ll be available less for work, and with my position that means I will most likely lose my job. Without my job, we will be seriously hurt financially. What am I supposed to do?

I shouldn’t write any of this but, I need to let it go.

 

Riches

colorful flowers

Vibrant green and purple flowers. Sent to J for his birthday, from his Mother. Birthday in October, photo taken in November of 2015.

Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion. ~The Talmud

Longing

pink roses

A sweet bouquet of vibrant pink roses with baby’s breath.

“Aroused by spring, they are soft as cream…”
~Chao Luan-Luan

Sound Mind

frozen pond

My sweet, on a frozen pond. December, 2014

A man who is “of sound mind” is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key.  ~Paul Valéry, Mauvaises pensées et autres, 1942

NYE 2014

photo of my cat

Miss Kitty’s last selfie of 2014 🙂

Happy New Year! Woohoo! 2014 is gone and I am thankful for everything it brought me. 2015 holds endless blessings and possibilities. Last night, my dear had to work overnight and that was a bummer but we made the best of it. Last selfies of the year were taken by (or for) each of us. My annual ritual of cleaning, sweeping (to remove negativity) and cleansing our place with smoke (this year it was incense) was done within the last hour of the year.

At midnight, we spoke via video chat on HangOuts. This will have been the 3rd annual lighting of candles on NYE. It symbolizes the return of light and with that hope! We watched some fireworks out the back window via video and then said goodnight. He returned home in the morning and here we are enjoying the first day of 2015.

What’s that you say? You see something or, someone in the bottom right corner of the photo? Ahh, we’ll save that for another post! Happy day to you and a year full of sweetness to follow!

Seeking Santa III

paper snowflakes in window

Paper snowflakes we cut & applied to our window along with fake snow & lights. We have an enclosed walkway to our apartment, view from the hall.