On the Rocks

rocks

Rocks at the beach, April of 2015.

“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.”  ~Shakti Gawain

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Friends

kelp bulbs

Kelp bulbs. Me & my sweets hands. May 09, 2015.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale

Time

beach

The beach, Fire Island in the far background. Early summer, 2015. Sand, sea, sun.

Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst. ~William Penn

Human

bush & sky

Looking up the side of the cliff, Point Woronzof beach. Mid-April, 2015.

We each need to make peace with our own memories. We have all done things that make us flinch. ~Surya Das

Otherwise

beach

Fire Island in the not so far distance, on the left. Mid-April, 2015. Very strong but warm winds off the water.

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe

Invisible Veins

beach

End of March, Alaska 2015

Beyond my body my veins are invisible.

~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943,

translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Breath of Madness

photo

Point Woronzof, 03-24-15

Today I felt pass over me
A breath of wind from the wings of madness.
~Charles Baudelaire

On the ROCKS!

spray painted rocks

Vandalized rocks (with such pretty colors) on the beach. Point Woronzof, September 24th, 2014

Stuck between a rock and a hard place? Yes, as usual. Slowly I have adapted to my current work requirements, and due to a lack of needed employees my hours have been bumped from only 29 to 40 hours. 40 hours a week is required for my life and finances, so there are no complaints about that.  However, I am told around November/December part-time employees will be lucky to get any – that’s 0 hours.

I feel guilty or perhaps like I chose “wrong” to accept this current position. Perhaps if I stuck it out a little longer I would have found that full-time job that also makes my heart sing! I did get calls for interviews (one with a company I really wanted to work for) but I had already started my new job. I felt some moral obligation to stick with the company until at least training was finished and I could give proper notice.

However, I don’t really feel like this post is about my current work place or how many hours I will get. In reality, it’s about the feelings of turmoil underneath. Using responsibility and obligation, I tie stones around my neck so to speak. Doubting my decisions and finding ways to chastise myself for my decisions. Self-sabotage comes to mind. There are bigger issues at hand than my job, for me to work on! Stay POSITIVE people and always look towards the sun!

Whole New World

 

the point

The point, summer of 2014.

I’ve felt a bit lost in the big, wide ocean of life, but I can see the shore in the distance. It’s going to take work, but there is a whole new world out there kids.